Title: Never Mess with Mrs. Hudson
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Characters/Pairing: Sherlock, John, Mrs. Hudson
Prompt/Summary: Prompt was for Mama Bear!Mrs. Hudson being badass at an intruder who's already taken down the boys.
Notes: When Mrs. H mentions a "favour", she means Sherlock dropping that CIA agent out the window in A Scandal in Belgravia.
Mrs. Hudson glanced up from her baking when she heard a thud from the upstairs flat. She sighed, dusted her hands off on her apron, and went to go make sure her boys hadn't hurt themselves. They could be so very silly sometimes.
Sherlock winced as the intruder tightened the ropes around his wrists. He found it hard to believe that he, Sherlock Holmes, the best detective in London if not the world, had been taken completely by surprise. Even if he had missed it, John should have noticed something - he had been a soldier, for science's sake! Although, Sherlock supposed, they had been a trifle…occupied when the intruder had entered.
John, who had been tied up first, was currently struggling against his bonds and muttering imprecations against rope, the intruder, Sherlock's distractingness, and a variety of other topics. When he heard Mrs. Hudson's familiar footsteps on the stairs, however, he froze. "There's no need for you to come up, Mrs. Hudson," he called. "We'll deal with it."
The intruder scowled and slapped John across the face. "Quiet, you," he growled. "We'll be 'avin' none of that. If she wants to come up, let her." He grinned menacingly.
At that moment, the door opened and Mrs. Hudson entered. She tutted in dismay at the situation her boys had got into, then took action.
Sherlock and John watched in complete surprise as Mrs. Hudson, their sweet, kind, gentle landlady, took down the intruder efficiently and painfully and tied him up with some of the leftover rope. She turned to her boys and winked. "Call it returning the favour, Sherlock, dear," she said calmly, untying the two of them and shaking her head over their injuries. "You boys just wait here; I'll fetch you a cuppa. Just this once, you know - I'm not your housekeeper." She bustled into the kitchen to make tea, leaving John and Sherlock to stare at each other in shock.
"Did she just…?" John began, unable to fully articulate the sheer confusion that was bouncing around in his head like an overenthusiastic rubber ball, knocking over the metaphorical furniture and breaking metaphorical windows.
Sherlock just nodded in reply, temporarily struck speechless with awe.
Mrs. Hudson returned with two mugs of tea and the oft-depleted first aid kit. While John and Sherlock drank their tea, she applied plasters and ice-packs to the cuts and bruises they had accumulated. Since both of her boys were still a bit in shock (one of those orange blankets would have come in handy), she dialed 999 and calmly explained the situation to the nice constable at the other end.
When he had nearly finished his tea, Sherlock regained his powers of speech. "Thank you, Mrs. Hudson," he said meekly.
"Oh, it was nothing, dears," said Mrs. Hudson. "Just taking care of my boys." With that, she kissed both of them on the forehead and went downstairs to finish her baking.
- Fic: Never Mess with Mrs. Hudson